Life Lesson: Surrender Is More Powerful Than Control

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This is such a seemingly simple phrase which can be taken so lightly but has so much potential to change your life. “Surrender is more powerful than control.”

My revelation of this came to me after exploring forgiveness, seeking direction for my life, and trying to figure out who I am and what I am on this earth for. It’s one of those things that seems obvious to everyone around you because they can judge you externally but if someone said that phrase to me twelve months ago, I wouldn’t have really grasped it’s meaning or paid much attention to it.

It’s only when you are seeking that you can truly embrace a new idea. It’s only then that you find revelation in something so simple. “Those who seek, shall find.” Read more

Why Bother With Positive Affirmations?

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The thoughts you hold in your subconscious mind can significantly influence your success in life. Most of us have grown up in the world of negativity. We have received negative teachings about things in life from our friends, our relatives, and even from the media. Some of these negatives beliefs, for example, are like money is the cause of all evil, you lose your friends when you become rich e.t.c. These and other beliefs towards life prevent us you from attracting great things into our life. The good thing is that all these ideas can be modified.

An old man once asked this intriguing question. “If I start saying positive stuff to myself, won’t that make me delusional, particularly when I don’t think of them being true?” Now, do you think that this is interesting? Many of us tell things to ourselves or about ourselves continuously. For example, you may say, “I am stupid!” “I am always Clumsy!” “I always make stupid decisions!” And we tell ourselves these things so often until we start accepting them as FACTs. In reality, these are deceptions that we tell to ourselves. However, even if you know something is untrue, and continue repeating it to yourself more often. Eventually, you’ll start believing that it is true. This notion is particularly the case when a lot of emotion is fed into these thoughts as the case when we speak negative things to ourselves. Something that you don’t know, a negative self-talk comes in combination with a feeling of frustration, anger, resentment humiliation, etc. And often, it amounts to depression. All these emotions allow the self-talk to infiltrate the subconscious mind and they are hard to change.

According to Sherman & Cohen, (2006), “Many of these psychological adaptations can be thought of as defensive in nature, insofar as they alter the meaning of the event in a way that shields people from the conclusion that their beliefs or actions were misguided”( p.4.) Reciting these opinions over and over again is similar to seasoning meat. Think about rubbing seasoning toward a piece of meat and possibly even causing small incisions to help the seasoning penetrate farther into the flesh, as you impart flavor. However, your herbs and spices are bitter and pungent that when you taste the ready meat, it is not delicious.

The Benefits of Daily Affirmation

· You start becoming aware of your everyday words and thoughts hence decreasing the risk of letting in negative thoughts.

· You start getting more motivated in your life.

· Your life starts to get surrounded by things that are beneficial to you hence bringing more gifts and blessings.

· A daily practice contributes to keeping the small things track of smalls things and keeping them in perspective, and appreciate them.

· Positive affirmation boosts your health.

· Positive affirmation makes you keep focused on things that can help you.

· Writing positive affirmations help you remain in a perpetual state of gratitude.

· If you are going to replace the negative self-talk with positive affirmations on a daily basis and utilising positive affirmations more often, you will begin the progressive process of the re-conditioning the subconscious part of your brain.

Conclusion.

The recovery work will take time, a lot of patience, and attention to detail. Once accomplished, it will not only produce enormous satisfaction to you, but it will also bring benefits to your life. So, persevere with your positive affirmations and finally they will get deep-rooted into the sub-conscious mind. The reward will be an improved self-image plus an abundant life.

How To Be Decisive When Your Emotions Are Taking Over

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We all face this problem at some point in our lives, especially in relationships. When emotions are involved it makes it hard to think clearly and make decisions. Here are a few tips to help you come up with the right decision.

  1. Think about what your friends would suggest you do from their third person perspective.

    By putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes, we can start to think objectively about our situation and take the emotion out. What would your friends advise you to do in your situation? If you want to think about it slightly differently, what would you advise your friends if they were in a similar situation to you?

  2. Weigh up the pros and cons

    It will help you to physically write down the pros and cons of your decision to visually asses your options. This way you are reducing the stress on your brain trying to juggle everything all at once.

  3. Think about the consequences of each decision

    There is always consequences for every decision we make. This is about minimising risk. It’s important to recognise that we are going to make some mistakes in our lives and we shouldn’t be fearful of that. By thinking about the consequences of each decision you may see an option that reduces your potential risk and lets you take the next step.

  4. Stick to your guns

    Trust your instinct. Usually your first thought is the right one. Once you make the decision, stick to it. Back yourself. Try doing some light meditation to calm your mind and help you listen to your inner voice.

These are just a few tips you can use to help you make a logical and proactive decision when you feel your emotions are holding you captive.

Remember, these decisions are difficult for everybody as you have a lot of emotions to deal with not just in yourself, but possibly from someone else or numerous people. Follow these simple steps to help you move forward and make a decision that is right for you.

How To Change Your Reality By Identifying Your Thought Patterns

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What happens to us in life is not what is “happening to us” at all. There is no point blaming or pointing the finger at someone or something else for our misfortunes.

We have the ability as highly potential beings to create the most wonderful experiences for ourselves in our lifetime, or alternatively fill our lives with strife and hardship.

It’s not simply a matter of positive affirmations or trying to reduce negative emotions by focusing on the good things in our life. There is more to it.

We do actually have the power to change reality. By understanding and exploring our inner beliefs, emotions, and reactions to situations we can learn to understand how we are perceiving reality and make changes to impact our world.

To start with, think about the concept of “There is no good or bad”, there simply “is”. Our definition of what is good or bad is our perception formed by our inner beliefs and programming. A belief is something told to us that we accepted.

If you are feeling like your life is boring or unfulfilling, could you imagine how much your life would change if you decided to uproot yourself tomorrow and go live in a different country. Would that change your belief?

It would definitely change your situation, but possibly not your inner belief that your life is boring. What you need to do is identify the underlying thought pattern that makes you believe your life is boring. This is called “mindfulness”. Practicing mindfulness arms you with the tools to hunt your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. It allows you to become more aware of your inner beliefs.

As you take notice and observe these thoughts and notice how the mind uses your thoughts to generate beliefs, you will be able to determine which beliefs are genuine and which aren’t. You are no longer living on auto-pilot as a prisoner to your own mind. You will literally be able to change the way you think through consistent mindfulness practice.

What can you do today to change your reality?

The first thing is to listen to yourself.

“We learn our belief systems as very little children, and then we move through life creating experiences to match our beliefs. Look back in your own life and notice how often you have gone through the same experience.” -Louise L. Hay

To identify your beliefs and thought patterns, try to observe your reactions to situations when they happen as if you were someone else simply standing nearby. Specifically identify your speech and the specific words you use. What you speak is a correlation to what you think.

Think of yourself as having a front and back cover. The front is what we portray to others and the outside world. The back cover is what we really think about ourselves. The aim here is to find out more about our back cover. What do we really think about ourselves?

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The Top 5 Mantras To Instantly Boost Your Positivity And Get You Out Of That Rut

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Looking for a dose of positivity to lift you from the rut that is your day-to-day grind?

You’re not alone. We all get stuck sometimes and need motivation to get us from whatever hole we may be in at a particular time.

A mantra is a phrase or word that triggers transformation. The main purpose of a mantra is to evoke the enlightenment state and release you from your illusions.

Here’s what mantras do:

  • Help you take charge of your mind, especially during meditation.
  • Help you to get into or focus on the right state of mind.
  • Use visualisation to reach the desired effect.
  • Rouse auto-suggestions to your subconscious.

If you feel like something is holding you back from reaching the next level, use these five mantras to motivate you. Simply repeat these mantras in your head as you
meditate or as you work out.

1. “I am resilient.”

This mantra is especially powerful when you are going through a particularly hard time. Whether it is a breakup, job loss, or a cash crunch, this mantra helps to push
you to persist.

You have overcome a lot of things in life; you can surely overcome your current situation. That’s basically what this mantra is about; to convince yourself that you have the resilience to bounce back from whatever situation that put you down.

2. “If its not challenging enough, it will not change me.”

If any experience in life is comfortable for you, it will never change you. Most good things are born out of extremely challenging (and sometimes painful) circumstances. This is the story of many successful people the world over.

When you feel challenged, down, and almost out, that might be a good sign that you need to make a change. You need to face the next challenge. You need to muster the courage to experience pain or discomfort before you can move to something bigger, somewhere better.

3. “I will never know how far I can go unless I try.”

One of the most powerful motivational mantras ever. If you had to choose one and only one mantra to get you out of your rut, this would be it. It is plain, simple, and straightforward yet extremely powerful.

You need to take that leap today, to put yourself out there and see what’s waiting for you on the other side. Without taking the first step, you will never know. Take
that step today.

4. “If opportunity doesn’t knock, I will build a door.”

If you’re always waiting for opportunities to come your way, you might forever remain stuck. Sometimes it’s up to you to shape your own future. Not your dad. Not your mum. Not your friends. And certainly not your girlfriend or boyfriend.

5. “Yes I Can.”

This mantra supposedly got a person elected as president, so now you know its power. On a serious note, “yes you can” can work like a switch. It can flip a negative moment into a positive, hopeful one in an instant. Just repeat to yourself “yes you can” and then your brain and body will quickly oblige.

Wrapping Up

These powerful phrases should help you make a change and snap out of that rut today. Stick to one or two that really fire you up. Now you have the power to get you to the next level.

Things you Should Not Do After a Breakup

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Picture this, your ex has parted ways with you. He or She has just told you the three popular words “It Is Over” , to exacerbate it she has moved on! To be honest, this is one of the most alarming circumstances to be in as a man or woman.

Obviously, as time ticks by you start to acknowledge that your ex meant the world to you. How enamored with her you truly were. In this way, one day you choose to take a risk, to get your ex back. You figure the most effortless approach to this is to send her a “can-we-talk” text-message to determine whether she has the same feelings for you. In this way, you do it. You haul out your telephone, sort in a sweet SMS, send it to her and you end up getting such a reply. ” Hi, too bad I am dating another person and I am so happy with him!

Phew! Should you decide to overlook that? Or will you persist to get your girlfriend back?

There are some deadly mistakes that people make after a relationship breakup. Based on your past experiences, you will try to use everything to try to get your ex to stay. Begging, stalking, smothering them with
affection, jealousy and sometimes even anger and abuse. The reason why most people make these mistakes is because in their mind, pleading, begging and being desperate seem like the most logical thing to do.

Things you Should Not Do After a Breakup

After a relationship breakup there are certain things that you should totally refrain from doing. They will rip off your dignity. Some items on
the agenda are quite obvious:-

  • Don’t wallow in self pity,
  • Don’t drunk dial your ex,
  • Don’t try to make people feel sorry for you that you are wallowing in self-pity and drunk-dialed your ex.
  • Don’t smother your ex with too much affection.

 

Why Smothering is Potentially Harmful after A Break up

Smothering your ex after a relationship breakup, and showering her with overrated displays of affection through myriads of emails and text messages will not be effective. It will only make matters worse. At this point, your ex knows how you feel; it would be great now to give her a break to figure out how she feels. Your ex needs to complete the assessment going on at her end before she makes her mind on the next move. She’s judging how you handle the time apart. Use the time apart to work on yourself, mentally and physically. Go through the motions of moving on, even if you still hold hopes of reconnecting. Let her wonder what you’re doing without her and whether you’re dating someone else.

What You Should Do to Win Your Ex Back

You have refrained from all the above elements, time has lapsed and you feel its the right time to have that talk. What should you do?

1.Attempt to fix what turned out badly

After your ex has had some breathing space, you can now think of how you can mend the relationship. Connections frequently end in a hurricane of uncertainty and sharp allegation. You most likely said a couple of things you didn’t mean, and she battled back. Since you’ve had a tiny bit of time to consider what’s been lost, you know you need her back. On the off chance that you put your heart and brain to it, you’ll have the capacity to win her over once more. Altering whatever turned out badly in any case can be all it takes to demonstrate that you’ve changed.

2.Tell your ex sorry

Whether you said a final farewell to her, or she parted ways with you, a conciliatory sentiment is quite often all together. A statement of regret demonstrates her that you’re equipped for gulping your ego, and that you mind enough to advise her you weren’t right. Set a period to meet in an open spot, or a place that you know she’ll feel great. At the point when the timing is right, say: “I know I committed a few errors, and I needed to assume full responsibility. I shouldn’t have done [whatever it is you did] to you, and I feel horrendous at this point. Yet, the greatest oversight I made was losing you. I don’t expect anything from you, I simply need you to realize that.” This way you are deemed to win your ex back.

What if your Ex Slaps your Apology?

If the worst happens, and your ex says she doesn’t love you anymore, don’t try to convince her to love you with rational reasons. Don’t smother her with details of why you’re perfect for her. Don’t peddle your love to her. Maintain your dignity. Simply walk away and save yourself the embarrassment. Not every love is meant to last forever. If you’ve done your best, and communicated your feelings, it’s time to move on.

The 5 Stages of Grieving – Divorce and Cheating

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It’s important to remember that the “5 stages of grieving” aren’t a linear set of steps that each person will go through. You may experience many stages or emotions at once and in various order.

These stages were originally identified by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying. Although they were identified through people dealing with the death of someone close to them, they are still relevant to people dealing with the loss of their partner through divorce or breakup. Even though they haven’t died, the loss is still just as painful. Read more